Thoughts on Teenage Boys

It is often the best payback for one's parents to see their kids grow up and have the same headaches with their kids as we put the parents through. I know my Dad laughs when I tell him stories about breaking up fights and things being broken by roughhousing with our two teenagers. I can also see my Mom laughing in heaven as I struggle with the vagaries of the teenage psyche. I went through it with Jennifer, and although I'd certainly say I'd take the headaches associated with a 15 year-old boy than the mind-numbing problems that a 15 year-old girl can dish out, when you are in the middle of it, it can certainly give you pause. Take yesterday.......

We have been having problems with the toilet in the boy's bathroom. When you have two six-footers that eat like those two, it's not a shock that the mandated low-flow toilets in California might have some difficulty staying ahead of the curve. This toilet. though, has had trouble flushing a kleenex without clogging up. This is a major problem, because when the boys have business to attend to they have made a beeline to my bathroom by the remote bedroom which serves as my office. That won't do and I won't get into specifics as I'm already walking a thin line here on this topic.

I finally tired of the paint-peeling intrusions into my personal space and called a plumber. The first plumber took a look at the line and the flush pattern and said that it was simply a weak flush and that the toilet should be replaced. I said, "Thanks....NEXT!" Yesterday a plumber from Bonney Plumbing showed up. They were in the news last week as an Alzheimer's sufferer pulled a gun on one of their plumbers and held him hostage until he could talk the guy into letting him go out to his truck, where he called his office and they sent out the police. So, my sense of humor lead me to comment that the plumber could check the toilet and that I had no small arms in the house. As my luck would have it, the plumber was the guy held hostage! He did a bit of a more thorough job of checking the plumbing and pointed out by use of a mirror, that the toilet roll dispenser bar had lodged up in the neck of the toilet. The boys had told me that they'd "lost" the other roller and I bought them a replacement. Little did I know that these two geniuses had flushed the old one. As most people know, the roller bar has a spring and when it got flushed the spring contracted and then sprung open lodging it in the neck of the plumbing of the toilet. The plumber told me that it would be $83 to have him remove it with an auger, or it would be $177 to dismantle the toilet. I can buy a new toilet for about $170, so I told him to try the auger. He gave it three minutes and two tries and said, "No go." I told him that I'd dismantle the toilet and replace the bowl if need be. I asked him what I owed him, figuring a house call of $35. He called the office and they said that I'd authorized the $83. I said, "No. I'd pay $83 IF they could retrieve it by auger, but not $83 for a token effort. We argued, I told him I was beginning to see the Alzheimer sufferer's point of view. He said he'd reduce it to $75, which I paid under protest and immediately sent a letter to the State Contractor's License Board with a written complaint regarding predatory pricing tactics. We'll see what comes of that.

So, there I was out $75 with a toilet roll spindle hopelessly lodged in the neck of the toilet bowl and a particularly warm feeling toward my two stepsons. I rounded them up and got my toolbox and we went about tearing out the toilet and attempting to dislodge the roller. We worked with an auger and a coat hanger for about 45 minutes and I finally gave up. A new toilet bowl is about $65 and my time is worth more than that. Darla and I took a run to the Home Depot and bought a new bowl and a wax ring to mount it. I had David set about to take the tank off the old bowl and remove the seat and lid and I unpacked the new bowl. David got the seat and lid off, but couldn't loosen the tank. I turned it on end for the umpteenth time to loosen the bolts and out dropped the roller. I'd completely taken apart the packaging of the new bowl and as luck would have it, now I didn't need it. Oy.

I ended up reinstalling the old bowl, repackaging the new one and will return it today. Teenagers, you've gotta love 'em, because who else would?